Ladies can you remember, when was the last time you initiated sex with your man? you may think, “Who cares who makes the first move?” well you may be surprised by this but he cares. Initiating is a clear way of proving your excitement & arousal for your boyfriend, he wants to see you want him as bad as he wants you & we shouldn’t take them for granted by thinking he should always do all the chasing. If your man is always the one to start things up, eventually he’ll wonder, “Why doesn’t she ever come after me? Doesn’t she want me anymore?” Here’s the thing, though: You may think that by unbuttoning your top to reveal some cleavage, putting on some sexy lip-gloss and giving your man a come-hither look, you’re initiating sex, because you’ve signalled your interest. If you don’t actually take him by force & start the actual act he’ll say he initiated it, because he’s the one who slid over, slipped his hand under your top and kissed your pouting mouth. When guys say they wish their lover would initiate more, they really mean they wish their women were more aggressive, more obvious, and more direct & to the point.
Next question: When was the last time your man came on to you and you rebuffed him with a kiss because dinner was cooking or the phone was ringing or — whatever? I know about the mountain of chores and your endless to-do list. I also know that rare, wide-open moments for intimacy present themselves and we let them pass by — in the name of efficiency, responsibility, practicality.
To be spontaneous is a form of surrendering, of saying that nothing matters at this moment but the two of you. Spontaneity tells your man you think he’s worth putting everything aside for. As one nostalgic boyfriend says, “When we were first together, the spontaneous ‘afternoon sex’ would make me smile for days, and the unplanned encounter with my girlfriend is still the best kind of sex.”
Yet too often we block the urge. We feel interest stirring, and instead of letting it develop, we step in with the usual controls — study, work, laundry, sleep — and postpone the flicker of arousal until a more convenient time. Convenient! Did you ever imagine you’d make convenience a condition for sex? eeeak Don’t you miss the excitement of inconvenient sex, the just-between-us thrill of sex in unlikely places at unlikely times?
Sex is about so many things — love, fun, eroticism, connection — it’s silly to let opportunities for intimacy pass by because they’re not quite right. The value of sex is sometimes simply in the connection. And what your man will read into your willingness to be spontaneous is that you want him under any conditions — good, bad or indifferent. Doesn’t that sound good, show your partner how bad you want him instead of thinking just because you wore your tightest dress & highest heels, just go that 1 step further & take him by the hand or whatever takes your fancy ;p
Have you ever initiated sex before and did it go down well?