In this day and age it quite hard to find a good girlfriend due to everyone having busy lives and having their own dreams to for fill. I struggle to find good female friends as well as being a good friend myself. Whether your the girl friend who is too busy or the one who is looking for a good girl friend to turn to. I’m sure we all wish we had a guide that would help navigate us to become the best girl friend we can be or look out for. Sister hood is like the friendship that feels as if you was born together and the bond is strong like DNA. You can’t buy or sell you can only gain in experience and time will only tell if you have that with your friends. (So if you already have it I’m super jealous) Here are a few Sister Hood Codes to being the best friend that you can be.
1. Let her release and actually LISTEN.
When friends approach me with their problems, my instinct is to fix them and find solutions. But sometimes friends aren’t always counting on you for the answers, they just want someone to agree with them that their job really does suck and life will instantly be perfect when they find a new one. The best thing you can do is this situation is give them a shoulder to cry on, zip the lip and open your ears. If they want your advice, they’ll ask for it.
2. Be as generous with the compliments as you are with the criticism.
It’s no secret that many people don’t know how to accept constructive criticism, but I’m willing to bet even more are guilty of not knowing how to gracefully take a compliment. Of course you would never let your girl leave the house with ashy elbows or mismatched foundation, but it’s important to actively tell her (in your Fabulous voice) “You look hot, your gonna turn some heads today!” If she can’t count on her boyfriend or even herself to tell her that she’s shutting it down, at least she can count on her bestie to tell her she’s beautiful.
3. Let her have her “moment”.
A little competition between compadres can be fun, but it’s important that you and your friends all have your moment in the winner’s circle. When your friend is talking about the catty co-worker from hell or when she’s grinding against the hottest guy in the club, in attempt to relate you may find yourself pulling a “Kanye”: “Your moment was great and everything, but my moment was the best event of 2011.” Don’t be an attention whore. You’ll have plenty of moments to get your shine, but if the spotlight isn’t on you for ten seconds, that’s OK.
4. Never say, “I told you so.”
She may have been surprised when she discovered he was cheating, but you called it a few months back. You told her that her that boyfriend was seen hanging out with a girl and that he seemed too soothe and a user, but she chose to keep dating him until he was caught cheating. You may be doing victory laps in your mind holding the satisfaction of being right above your head like a trophy, but being right isn’t always a good thing. While your best friend is picking her feelings up off the floor the last thing she wants to hear is that the situation could’ve been avoided if she had just listened to you. Sometimes the only way someone truly learns from a situation, is to actually feel the effects of it and that means they have to go through that situation even if you are trying to help them avoid it. So hush and get down and help clean the mess.
5. Leave ex’s in the past, both yours and hers.
It may have been obvious from day that you had more in common with the guy, but once he’s dated your friend (especially if that relationship was physical) consider him off-limits. If the relationship ended badly the last thing she needs is a reminder in the form of you becoming his new boo. And you’re too fly to play scavenger to her leftovers. I don’t care if her ex is Shemar Moore and he’s telling you that you are the only thing he needs in life, and is on his knees in the rain, in a tank top, with a Tiffany’s bangle in bright blue box. Girl grab that weave and drag yourself the other way.
6. You tell her to go for the 5” inch heels and the promotion.
We all can be our own worst critics and psyche ourselves out of going for opportunities that seem out of our reach, but you never know until you try. One of your responsibilities as a bestie is to encourage your friends to go for opportunities that they’d otherwise avoid out of fear and self-doubt. Of course you know they’re fabulous (anyone in your circle couldn’t be anything less) but sometimes they need a little reminder. Next time don’t let her talk herself out of getting the jeans that make her booty pop a little bit, she may need a little push so that she can actually claim that “moment” that you have to be careful about not stealing.
7. Hold her hand during the tough times.
There are certain times that no one should have to go through alone, no matter how much they try to convince you that they want to. This includes the death of someone close (pets count too), a positive pregnancy test result during a time in her life where there’s a whole lot of negative or an abusive relationship. Don’t ignore your intuition and if it’s telling you she needs someone, stick around. Even if she’s pushing you away physically, make sure you call and make other ways to keep in contact.
We hope you liked the read, there are defiantly a few other points that could be added but we would love to hear from our sisters (you) if there are any points you would like to add to this article in a comment below.