Now before you go crazy, I myself am from a mixed race background & had a white up bringing in Glasgow `Scotland, so I have been on both sides of the fence dating wise. I live in London now & there are much more options for people to find a good boyfriend or girlfriend inside their race if that’s what they want. But more & more black women are saying they cant find a good black man because all the white woman have taken them! Ouch! is this really true, & if so why is this happening? But first why do black women even feel they can voice their opinion? Well most women grow up having dreams of meeting the man in shining armour and setting up a home, family and enjoying life with their prince charming. Even though women work for their dreams, most women are attracted to men with ambition, that work hard and achieve success. Black girls have these dream too but unfortunately a lot of their dreams have been just that…dreams, as there knights in shining amour look elsewhere for love and that scenario is repeated to us in the media.
Firstly what is considered a good black man? Well most would say he has his own home, a career with a great income, is attractive & looks after his appearance, can spend money on his woman, his family as well as many other things. Now we are not talking about all black men but a lot is also being said that once most black men gain success & wealth he goes off with a “trophy” white woman. The examples are, numerous football stars & entertainers who choose to marry & start families with white women, after having dating history with black girls before their success. What we have to ask is, is it choice or coincidence?
Nothing is wrong with dating outside your race and most people would not think twice about it. They see nothing wrong with being attracted to someone with a different colour or background. Some women also find men of another race much more appealing & attractive (that’s another blog for another day). When it comes to love people don’t tend to date someone just because of colour, other things must factor into it after the novelty of colour wears off. A lot of male’s have also said that white women are more experimental in bed & and are willing to cater to their man’s needs & ego without the drama. I’m sure many black woman are screaming so do we as i am too!!! , but this is what the men have said, but is this true? How black girls are seen by our male men is important for us to know because this seems a trend that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.
The real question is why do black men switch from black women to white women when they get the success. Is it the guys or is it something to do with us?
OK for arguments sake lets say its us. If you feel as a black girl you are not finding a “good black man”, then you must look at where you are finding your men, how you carry yourself & what you are willing to contribute & cater to eg how the man your after likes his girl to be. If you think white woman are taking good black guys away then maybe we should look at the traits these woman have & see if there is something we are missing.
Now for arguments sake lets say it the guys. If Black men after success just purely go for what they consider to be someone who makes them feel special or satisfied then that makes them shallow as they can only possibly do this on face value. Somehow they believe that by going out with a white girl that their lives will be made easier more fulfilling and more satisfying than any black women can produce. If these black men genuinely prefer white woman cause that’s what they are attracted to then hey, there’s nothing that can be done about that. We cannot be bitter about people finding love with each other, but if we think someone genuinely has a happy & successful relationship, then perhaps we should look at that & ask why, what is making it work & use it to enhance future potential relationships.
Do you date outside your race, why? Do you think black woman loose out to dating successful black men?