Do Successful Black Guys Prefer White Girls??

Do Successful Black Guys Prefer White Girls??

Now before you go crazy, I myself am from a mixed race background & had a white up bringing in Glasgow `Scotland, so I have been on both sides of the fence dating wise. I live in London now & there are much more options for people to find a good boyfriend or girlfriend inside their race if that’s what they want. But more & more black women are saying they cant find a good black man because all the white woman have taken them! Ouch! is this really true, & if so why is this happening? But first why do black women even feel they can voice their opinion? Well most women grow up having dreams of meeting the man in shining armour and setting up a home, family and enjoying life with their prince charming. Even though women work for their dreams, most women are attracted to men with ambition, that work hard and achieve success. Black girls have these dream too but unfortunately a lot of their dreams have been just that…dreams, as there knights in shining amour look elsewhere for love and that scenario is repeated to us in the media.

Firstly what is considered a good black man? Well most would say he has his own home, a career with a great income, is attractive & looks after his appearance, can spend money on his woman, his family as well as many other things. Now we are not talking about all black men but a lot is also being said that once most black men gain success & wealth he goes off with a “trophy” white woman. The examples are, numerous football stars & entertainers who choose to marry & start families with white women, after having dating history with black girls before their success. What we have to ask is, is it choice or coincidence?

Nothing is wrong with dating outside your race and most people would not think twice about it. They see nothing wrong with being attracted to someone with a different colour or background. Some women also find men of another race much more appealing & attractive (that’s another blog for another day). When it comes to love people don’t tend to date someone just because of colour, other things must factor into it after the novelty of colour wears off. A lot of male’s have also said that white women are more experimental in bed & and are willing to cater to their man’s needs & ego without the drama. I’m sure many black woman are screaming so do we as i am too!!! , but this is what the men have said, but is this true? How black girls are seen by our male men is important for us to know because this seems a trend that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.

The real question is why do black men switch from black women to white women when they get the success. Is it the guys or is it something to do with us?

OK for arguments sake lets say its us. If you feel as a black girl you are not finding a “good black man”, then you must look at where you are finding your men, how you carry yourself & what you are willing to contribute & cater to eg how the man your after likes his girl to be. If you think white woman are taking good black guys away then maybe we should look at the traits these woman have & see if there is something we are missing.

Now for arguments sake lets say it the guys. If Black men after success just purely go for what they consider to be someone who makes them feel special or satisfied then that makes them shallow as they can only possibly do this on face value. Somehow they believe that by going out with a white girl that their lives will be made easier more fulfilling and more satisfying than any black women can produce. If these black men genuinely prefer white woman cause that’s what they are attracted to then hey, there’s nothing that can be done about that. We cannot be bitter about people finding love with each other, but if we think someone genuinely has a happy & successful relationship, then perhaps we should look at that & ask why, what is making it work & use it to enhance future potential relationships.

Do you date outside your race, why?  Do you think black woman loose out to dating successful black men?

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Hey Guys, I'm Peeqs. Love all things African and colourful, food mmm food, hot sunshine, fashion, hair, jewellery wooo just so many thaaangs ;p All praise to The Most High x

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  1. binghazy

    i am 36, black male, only been with in two relationships, both marriages with black women. 1st started when i was 21 and ended when i was 27 and 2nd started when i was 30 and just ended an year ago. all i can say is that i’ll never get in a relationship with a black woman with the intention of marring them again, i’ve tried it twice with black woman it did not work may be if just not for me. if marriage is ever an option for me again it’ll probably be with someone from another race because i’ve already closed my mine to black women, not because there aren’t any black women out there but because they have not work for me.
    just to add depending what the definition of a successful Blackman is, i just might be one, i am MD/Phd with $484,000 almost half a million dollars a year income, practically successful at everything i’ve ever set my eyes on in life except the one thing i really means everything to me that is (family) a wife and children.
    i do believe that a hand full of black men look to other race also because of the very thing that black women are saying too. that is there is “not enough available good black men” not enough available black women”

    I think the best thing for both black women and men should be saying is, black women/black men have not been working for me. and say the saying go lunacy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and since i am not Lunatic i’ll try something else.

  2. phoebe

    I’m late to this conversation–but great blog!!!

    I must say i have commented numerous times on this “issue” and the truth be told–at least in North America–the majority of Black men marry Black women.

    As of 2011 the National (U.S. Census) percentages are follows:

    1. Of Black men who earn 100,000 or more a year 83% have Black wives and only 12% have a white wife
    2. Of Black men who hold professional and advanced degrees, 85% are married to Black women and only 10% have white wives
    3. 73% of Professional Black men athletes have Black wives and 22.3% have white wives
    4. 92% of Black men who are middle class have Black wives
    5. 96% of Black men who hold a high school diploma are also married to Black women

    So–in North America at least–Most Black folks marry each other…

    But Black men are not more likely to date out than white men or women–but this is never discussed.

    I would like to ask you–as a person who has a Black father and white mother–what was your mother’s relationship with Black women (outside of your father’s family)?


    This is such as deep topic, first of all to the black men that pin point reasons upon black women for not finding them attractive such as having two many children, bad attitudes and false hair, these qualities are also in many white women they are not being honest with their reasons. Black women have been discriminated
    upon for many years, and black cinema have away of giving lead roles to light skin women. Due to the historical concepts such as years ago a black man would have been killed for even looking upon a white women, makes our generation want to value what has always been presented as worthy,pure and beautiful a white women.

  4. Natasha

    I’ve had this discussion and have been told that the more a person climbs the career ladder, the less black people they find in their circles. Which seems unfortunate, but if you walk around the city, this is observable.
    In some more upmarket clubs where “Celebs” party, black women are in the minority.
    Although some may not agree, I have noticed this trend in academia also… (Which is an issue for black women)

    I guess if a guy hasn’t found a black girlfriend prior to success, once their lifestyle changes, they will “fish from the sea” available to them. If that means 5% black women vs 60% white and 35% mixed or other, then the odds are not in our favour. it could be a case of probability.

    Just a speculative view

  5. zara

    i have a question……..why is it that black women don’t care about these black men until they see them with a white, Latina, or light skinned woman…….let’s cut the bullshit and say it like it is if these guys were working at taco bell then not one sister would give a damn…….but let him ear 6 or 7 figures and all of a sudden he’s “one of the good one” and it matters who’s he’s with

    1. Post author

      Hi zara thanks for the feedback. From my experience I don’t think the issue is weather black women like black men as i see plenty of black women with black men regardless of their jobs & with black children not commonly mix race (a very small amount) so it seems obvious that black women do date/marry /have families with black men. On the other hand black men do date black women, but when they get some status, they seem to swap dating black women for white & women of other races. Clearly were not saying all men, but their is an obvious trend that many women have noticed & were asking why. Where do you see yourself in this debate?

  6. James

    I honest it dont even matter what colour she is
    all that matters is her knowing how to roll…
    A problem that could possibly with types of black girls
    that i meet is them adapting to that…possibly? Or is
    this just in my case…
    Because many of the white girls I meet seem
    happier to follow some sort of lead (being me #humble)
    An using the descriptions in title (n being me too)
    we are referring to one being a successful man
    so I would have hope for girls I involve with to
    keep whatever it is I do to make it that way. Bt with
    black girls to much headache coz dey suffer from
    not believing in black man too much… possibly

    1. Post author

      some interesting points in there james, thanx for the feedback, but are you saying you purposefully avoid black women and go for white women being a successful black man? x

  7. Moam Masters

    Thank you so much  @ramonnavarro:disqus and  @d678fa7fe50cbd5461bd118cc0c05774:disqus very interesting read and great valid points
    I do hope one day we will be able to date and love people with out the myth of the whole ‘up grade movement’.  We hope that us women will be able to love our selves and appreciate that we are all beautiful no matter what colour or shape and size we need to know our worth.

    Lo xx


  8. The Moam Network

    Hi @9271d4de64b47aa450e418d1e134a780:disqus wow that woz a pretty interestin read, greatly appreaciate ur comments with plenty valid points. maybe even a few issues we can address in further blogs. though i hav 2 say there r plenty attractive women in london who look just as gud as keri or riri but they hav the mist of celeb about them & u dont get to c their flaws, only the good side tv or mags present. its unrealistic 2 compare a celeb to the average girl as it takes a small village to create all u c. im glad ur successful & were not by any means saying ALL successful black men like white women, it is merely a question on the minds of many. good luck wiv ur pretty girl search ;p

    p x

  9. Weezy213

     i don’t know why this statement is always thrown about. Im successful but i dont particularly find white women attractive at all. especially cultrually with all that drinking. But the sad thing is i dont find most black women attractive at all too, (ironically the ones i find attractive only date white men – go figure! lol!) there are many reasons.. obviously living in the western world the image of beauty we are bombarded with is far from the average black woman, its bound to affect us black men. Period. (e.g. i cant imagine white women having much luck in africa, unless its a passport attraction) In fact its a testament to the appeal of black women, or should i say black female traits, that ALL of us black men are not with white women. which leads to the last point i wanna make… I think a great deal of black men (me included) are actually into the inbetweeners… by that i mean, mixed race women, and latin type women or women that have black traits. you only have to look at the average urban video vixen to see what i mean. then there’s Beyonce (yeah she’s black but looks mixed/exotic), Eva Mendes, Nicloe sherzinger, kim kardashian i can go on. black women can never compete with that neither can white women. Ironically this race mixed ideal has now become the new international standard of beauty.. Angelina Jolies Lips, Jlo’s ass. hell even Pippa Middletons ass was lauded! lol!  I’m afraid for black women, especially british ones, that it will only get worse, and it isnt nothing to do with there social status. and that tired argument of black women being difficult is bollocks. i know some lovely amazing black women, and i also know some horrendous ghetto argumentative white chicks, (but they still find black men – no problem). its a simple case of attraction. more and more black men are less attracted to black women, and its getting worse. look at black footballers and the often horrendous white chicks they date… smh. if black chicks cant compete with those kind of white chicks then its a wrap. what can they do? well lemme see.. hot international black chicks.. (gotta go over to the states for that…) Keri Hilson, Rihanna, Kelly Rowland. Id date any of them in a second. problem is you just dont get that quality of black chicks in london often. black women have become invisible, and its mostly not their fault. but the tide has gone against them and its a shame. but you know what… if i see some kerri hilson black chick thats not hood n dosent have kids then imma snap it up quicker than you can say pretty girl rock… lol

  10. Peeks

    some great feedback here & insight, i think we may have to do a few follow up blogs. There is no one answer or solution. Raising this topic however shows there are still many issues & emotions to be dealt with & thats what this mo-am blog is for, helping each other discuss & work things out together. please continue to share advice & opinions so we can get closer to that goal. We are all beautiful no matter what race, prejudice is what’s ugly x

  11. Ramon Navarro

    This deep subject but when it comes Black people on a whole being successful at anything, white people are more interested with successful Black people then Black people are!

    When it comes to sport, film, tv, music, not enough Black people support Black people and this is never gonna change and it’s getting worse!

    1. Commander B

      True. Also let’s not forget the scenario of the black guy who was a nobody in school and nothing but a nerd. That nerd is now a multi-millionaire who gets attention from people who never had interest. Along his journey to greater success he has a girl of another race who likes him because of his determination on furthering his life. She is now the enemy of black women because she “stole” the black man.

  12. Sharrema

    Its funny cos I know white chicks who go on bad and have some of the most chavy disgusting mouths ever but then I know black chicks like that as well gone are the days where black men can use the stereo type s of ohh a black women is harder to deal with then a white women cos frankly I think its a cope out and full of bull, if you have a caring quite personality or you have a loud ghetto personality should that be based on your colour I have this conversation with many a black man and I say again women are women good bad or indifferent if that’s what your attracted to then just say that don’t make bull excuses

  13. Peter_pan

    I think there is a number of reasons why that happens

    People are free to choose who they want to be with…through interests feelings etc but there are some underlying issues as to why SOME black men do it…in MY opinion

    1. When you get higher up the food chain the circles you move in are different. Its sad but the proportion of blacks are nowhere near the amount of whites you find at higher level business firms etc
    2. White women tend to love black men anyway but a working successful black man then becomes more appealing to them
    3. In the western world the definition of beauty does not fit the image of a black woman…perceptions of what is attractive are shoved in our faces, as well as the perception that you are trading up when you replace a black woman for a white woman ‘the slave mentality I call it’
    4. As I said in the 1st point when you move higher up the food chain the circle change, as do interests behavior etc…they might find that most black women don’t share those interests, and are not part of that world, it’s alien to them and they don’t fit in
    5. The excuse that black women are difficult ‘yawn’ very very outdated excuse I wont even waste my time on explaining why it is
    6. And acceptance……blending in with the world you’ve now become a part of

    I could keep going on and on and on …black men (not all) do not love black women..nor do they love and understand themselves (and that goes for our women too) and will jump at any chance to abandon us. And it can be done easier when you’re successful and making a certain amount of money…A lot of black women do not respect themselves and through desperation act in certain ways to hold onto and attract any black man they can which in turn becomes less attractive. Lets face it we don’t have many to choose from and even less if our own men prefer white women lol we are the only race that would put another above our own. I have my issues with black men but I will never stop loving them because they are my own. Black women need to love themselves…if you do not love yourself no man will…if black men chose to rate white women above their AFRICAN queens that is their loss and our race will continue to spiral into an abyss. Its breaks my heart every day. I have days where I feel inadequate and I’m sure a lot of black women do…the way I hear our men speak about us is just were scum not worthy of love and attention smh this is a hurtful subject for me.

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