Have you ever lost trust in your boyfriend because of cheating, and in the process you then took him back but all trust is gone? Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you shatters your world and also self confidence in the process.
Even if he wants to come back to you willingly, you can’t stop thinking that your partner chose someone else and somewhere deep inside you, you will never be completely comfortable with him again. It’s that horrible feeling that can keep you from fully mending your relationship.
But how can you go about mending this broken heart that refuses to trust anymore? If you want to regain trust you need to do a few things to help you be successful in getting back to how you once where with your boo.
Here’s four points to help you on your way
1. If you want to save your relationship, trust can be regained, but it will take time. When you first meet someone, you don’t immediately trust them. Trust is gained over time and is based on a persons actions and behaviour. The level of trust you give someone is built based on your feelings about their actions and behaviours.
2. Find out why the affair happened. This will take some practice and self-control on your part so that you don’t become defensive. If your partner is willing to talk to you about why it happened (spare the gory details, unless you want to bring out all the hurt again), try to listen from an objective place. We know that’s very, very difficult but if you want to know how to make your relationship better, you need to know what he/she saw in the other person. This is not to excuse your partner’s hurtful behaviour and it’s not to blame you. It’s simply to get information.
3. Get a plan and focus your attention on making your relationship what you both want. Chances are that even if he didn’t cheat, your relationship could be better in certain ways. Find out what you’re both willing to do to move closer to what you each want.
4. The most difficult step in re-building trust is to address the issue that caused the loss of trust head on. Getting your partner to address the issue and understand that what they did was wrong. To be honest you cannot expect to be cool about it until they understand what they did wrong and are ready to deal with it honestly. Admitting their mistake honestly is not something they do to re-establish a broken relationship, to reconcile and regain that person’s trust, which is a big issue; regaining trust is not about “their” own selfish pain!
We’d like to hear what you guys think on this matter, can you trust someone after they have cheated?