Ever wondered if sex on the first date is too much too soon? Most women will tell you that they’re scared of seeming ‘easy’ and of sending their new man running away if they have sex with him on the first date. But what do men really think?
According to a recent survey, three-quarters of men and women say it’s fine to have sex on a first date. Is that true? Or is there still a double standard that says ‘first nighters’ are easy if they’re women, and studs if they’re men?
Our age old knowledge is that men only have one thing on their mind when they first see a woman—sex! And when they go on to their first date, its sex again. The truth is, most men have two things on their minds: They want a sweaty sex session with you once they have established they want you, and then they want to fall in love. (what??) Yeah, that’s right girls. Men want to be happy, and fall in love too. The problem for guys is that these two desires, especially during the dating phase, have nothing to do with each other and each develops at completely different times of the relationship. The only thing that ties them together is that they both live in the guys brain. With Women its different, we have feelings straight away and with sex, the two grow together. Which is why some men find women too clingy and love dovey at the start of a relationship. Men rarely act this way. So for this reason women never know at the off set whether the man is just in it just for the sex, where as most men know from the start that the girl is into him emotionally.
But do men still think the double standards of ‘oh she’s a slag’ if she sleeps with me on the first night? Even though he is in on this too, this way of thinking is very unfair. The reason guys think this is because they go in just for the sex and they think women think the same way too, which we don’t. Some men must think its the woman’s responsibility that determines a first night session of sex even though they are chasing it and in some cases pushing for it. Which is why we get labelled horrible names when we give it up and they get labelled triumphant studs when they get it.
In my opinion before a man can bond sex to love, a man feels he must first conquest, followed by relief of his sexual attraction to the girl and the quicker he does this the better for him. So ladies one way to try to get him in touch with his feelings is not to put out on the first night! Now I’m not saying women should be forever prudent or should not fulfil her desires, a frisky first date without the sex can be a turn-on to an honest man but think of the long run and take your time as the next few dates are not far away.
But men also don’t realise that women too have a respect levels that we can judge them by. Girls are know to have more respect for a guy who waits before having sex. This relaxes women much more into the relationship without the worry of ‘will he think I’m a slag’ scenario. Its shows he has respect for the situation and the girl which will make her want him even more. If we found ourselves in the a situation which would normally lead to the guy trying to make sexual advances but he doesn’t we say to ourselves he’s different, we women cant help to have flutters in our hearts about this guy who didn’t just go in for the kill.
So many men think conquest compared to a woman’s emotions. But not only do men and women think of sex differently, their definitions are really different as well. For many women, sex probably starts at second base to feelings. For many men, sex is nothing short of a home run and conquest of a mission, which may be followed by feeling much later.