For some reason, we have always been attracted to men who have it. They always seem to get us wrapped around their pinky finger, doing things we never thought we’d do. I never thought, for example, that I could date someone shorter than me. It was on my list of not to do dating sins lol. But, much to my own surprise, I went out with this 5’3” brother a while back. And what, pray tell, was strong enough to make me overcome the limitations of his height?
Drum roll please…I’ve come to like swagger (or rather, come to realize that I love it).

But what I’ve discovered with age is that this swagger is often confused with utter arrogance. Trust me, let not the arrogant man be unrightfully flattered, because I’m not talking about him, not at all.

Swagger, by at least my definition, is well-directed confidence.  He smells and dresses nice but differently toned than everyone else. Not too smart not too rough. He has a style and personality  that you can’t put your finger on but its there in front of you. It is the: “I’m-confident-and-thus-I-believe-I-deserve-the-best-in-life-and,-well,-you-my-love-are-the-very-best-in-my-opinion, -and-so-I-want-YOU.” hello!

In this scenario, as the chosen woman, you stand to benefit from that confidence. It breeds a sense of singular, romantic longing for us and ME in particular, one that is not only flattering but also ensures some type of loyalty.

Or so I think.

See, the caveat to the swaggered man is that his confidence—pitched to a ridiculous high degree—breeds a certain charismatic charm. And perhaps more dangerously, he understands the effect of his charisma but so does all the girls in the club.

And here is where the two types of swagger show their truths

Arrogance-based swag is a flimsy, thin  layer of protective floss over a man’s ego. It is easily shaken, leaving its victims unclear of the difference between swagger and vanity. Perhaps it is because they aren’t yet comfortable in their own right, and thus they wear their swagger like an oversized coat, struggling beneath its weight.

But now, confidence-based swag is a whole other story: it is a solid layer of protection around a man’s heart. This man’s confidence, interestingly enough, breeds kindness. His confidence is some central  point, one that, because it is  deep in his being, allows him to shower his friends and most important his girl with warm, genuine smiles.  And approaches the woman of his interest without the  fear of rejection.

And sure, while the fear of rejection may linger there in the background as it does for any guys, for this confident man the risk is less devastating.

So this my beautiful girlies is why we like the guy with swagger but just don’t confuse it with arrogance. What qualities do you find attractive in a man? drop your comment below x

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The MO-AM Network. A Lifestyle channel, on fashion, entertainment, love and sex for career driven, young and ambitious women.

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