Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the black community. Black men have made it no secret their liking to white women. Regina King recently raised the argument that we as black women still have not become completely comfortable dating outside our race. I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of colour. Through my findings it seems as though black women aren’t actually opposef to dating outside of their race. Part of the dilemma lies in women of colour thinking that men outside of their race won’t be attracted to them. Below are the 5 top reasons black women are apprehensive about going there with a white guy.

1. Body image
Black women are known to be naturally curvaceous. We are praised for our assets by the black men who love us. It has been known that the bigger the backside the better. The rounder the breast the better. The thicker the legs the more beautiful. In the white community this has been the complete opposite. The bigger the butt, the less attractive. If your hips are too wide you’re considered fat. Thinner is usually all around better within the white community. This is naturally engrained in both African American and Caucasian people’s subconscious. Many studies show that black men prefer woman with curves and white men prefer women who are thin. After speaking to 6 black women between the ages of 25-40 most state that they believe a white man would not be attracted to them because of their voluptuous bodies.

2. Hair
Black women have been ridiculed for their hair for many many years. Chris Rock made the movie “Good Hair” that touched on many areas of what black women go through regarding their hair. If we wear it natural it’s consider nappy. If we perm it we’re considered “white washed”. If we have a weave, we aren’t happy with who we are and would really like to be a white woman. Regarding hair we just can’t seem to win. Since this is already a touchy subject in the black community, it’s obvious as to why a black woman would rather avoid the whole “hair conversation” when dating a white man. Sure most black men hate weaves but the women I surveyed expressed how a black man would understand more because he was raised by a black woman. Because of this, a black man knows all the changes his mother may have went through maintaining her hair. He is no stranger to fake hair or a pressing comb. A white man on the other hand is used to naturally un-enhanced straight hair that he gets to run his fingers through. The women I surveyed said they were naturally intimidated when it came to dating a white man because of their hair.

3. They are never approached by white men
We as black women are constantly criticized for being the ones not open to dating outside of our race but what happens if white men just do not approach us? When I surveyed these women, 4 out of the 6 said they were never even approached by a white guy. Unfortunately black women have the smallest pool to choose from. We are naturally attracted to black men but the majority of black men now and days marry outside of their race. Statistics show that white men usually date within their race and if they don’t, they are more likely to date a Hispanic, Asian or pacific islander. The percentage of white men and black women that date is a very low one.

4. Just not attracted to white men
We are also guilty of just not feeling it. 4 out of 6 women also said they were simply not attracted to white men. They felt as if they lacked good looks that they were used to, as well as confidence (swag) and sex appeal. Because of this it was hard for most of them to really become serious about potentially being able to have a serious relationship with a white man.

As you see there are many reasons that stop black women from dating white men. Unfortunately many of the reasons stem from insecurity. I think it’s important for us as black women to not miss out on opportunities just because of insecurities. Insecurity stems from fear and fear can stop you from attaining your blessings. At the same time, we are beautiful creatures who deserve the very best. We should also be able to get exactly what we want. If that happens to be a strong, successful black man, so be it. The sky should be the limit for us. If we truly believe we can and do deserve the very best, that is what will come to us. But it is also important to be open to anything life may have to offer. Life isn’t about being closed minded. Life is about taking chances and enjoying whatever challenges and changes may come our way. If a good looking white guy comes up to you and is interested in you, don’t be so quick to judge or feel you may not measure up in his eyes. If he approached you, that means he’s attracted to you. Love can come in all shades and sizes. Let’s not ever allow stereotypes and judgements determine who we can fall in love with.

Would you date outside of your race, do you agree with the reasons above?

courtesy madamenoire.com

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Hey Guys, I'm Peeqs. Love all things African and colourful, food mmm food, hot sunshine, fashion, hair, jewellery wooo just so many thaaangs ;p All praise to The Most High x www.zanjoo.com

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  1. Nancy

    I only date white boys. Im 21 and half Greek half African.
    I live in a city with few black people and most of them sell cds or working in bars with men.
    I know few people in my age and most of them girls. 4-5.
    Im not really into dating a black guy cause Ive learned this way… White greek people over the place. haha

  2. Darren

    This topic seems to be ongoing.Lets face it you are unstable if you fall for this nonsense.Everyone should date who they want.Black people do not become brainwashed and self hating.Where are the surplus of white men black women are going to date or marry.If black women are having so called trouble keeping black men from white women how are you going to get white men from white women.Marry who you love and love yourself.Please don’t be offended by this post.This is love and food for thought.This topic is self serving for people who are hating and profiting from this at our expense.

  3. Naz

    I would totally date outside of my race :3 (I’m a black female). I haven’t been approached by a white boy though…….well except one time when i was little LOL and I’ve recently heard of one saying that i was hot though, but I didn’t know who he was or seen him. Oh yea and there is one that i think likes me, but hasn’t made a move lol .-. I wish i was approaced by more white males. Only black males try to talk to me. I don’t get approached by other races either xD I know it isn’t because of my looks (not to brag, at all) but I do think that I’m a fairly cute girl. I just mainly attract my own race ._. ….not that that’s bad, but I just want to be approached by someone different once in awhile….

    1. ..... seriously?

      ummm… yea dude, kings did take black wives… its called one of the most genocidal slave trades in history. From one Arab to another, check your history (and your facts because racism and are still big problems in Arab societies today). We aren’t white but that’s no excuse.

  4. Arham

    Did you know that middle eastern kings took black wives from africa?
    I dont know about white guys
    but for us middle eastern a black woman is something special.

  5. Steve

    Some interesting points from no sex with white people. She sounds bitter and she should be but so should many others.
    My country (the UK) was the main winner from the slave trade which caused untold damage to so many poor black people. But it was a product of its times. In England in the seventeenth and eighteenth century the local poor white people also toiled under terrible conditions, starved or were mistreated by the lords who ran things. Some were even sent to the Americas to work as slaves but were far less hardy than the Africans who were their replacements and survived to terrible conditions much better – so they were more profitable.
    By 1806 in the British parliament the unfairness of the slave trade was recognised when Quaker campaigner William Wilberforce pushed through legislation outlawing the terrible trade and by 1835 all slaves were freed in the British Empire – long before the US Civil War.
    The racial divide in the UK is far less of an issue than in the USA and whites are far more likely to be with blacks than say Pakistani muslims.
    Personally I think that many of the most attractive people are the result of these mixed pairings look at Halle Berry – she is one for a start.

  6. BlackLoveOneLove

    if you traitor hoes want different men just say it without LYING ON US BLACK GUYS. 70 gaddamn percent of black men who marry, MARRY BLACK WOMEN!!! Lying -ass cracker article. Sick of these other races trying to lure our mother fucking women!!

  7. Taina

    Ummm… I don’t know much about statistic when it comes to Africans dating outside their race. I notice that white men tend to be attracted to black women who aren’t from this country (U.S.A). I think it has to with locations, and individuality. I am an African woman engaged to a non-black male, it was basically easy for us to be together. Black women needs to get over the “he won’t be attracted to me” type of shi**, being curvy is beautiful. I see more mix couples these days than in the past, especially dark skin girls with white guys. Having confidence is really attractive ladies, don’t settle.

  8. justagirl

    I think these reasons are valid (especially depending on where you live). To the girl from Germany, I live in the US and some of these things do apply, especially in “internet land” lol. Anyway, I’m a Black woman married to a Black man (Ethiopian) but I’ve dated a few white guys in my past. Only one was serious, and he was almost 20 years older! lol SO that was more of our issue, when it came to race it didn’t come between us at all.

    I’ve been approached by only a few white men, mostly Black/African, Hispanic (because the area I live in), a few Middle Easterns…never an Asian though! lol But then again I don’t live around many. Anyway, I think it just depends on what area you live in/travel to (access) and what you’re open to. But stereotypically some of these reasons may apply.

  9. Judy

    I would date a white guy in a heart beat.. I happen to attracted to white guys… I just wish they weren’t so afraid to step out and take a chance…

  10. Lovely

    I love to date outside my race and im a black women I prefer hispanics but I will take italians but no I havnt tried a white man but other family members are married to them no offence to the black men

  11. kiki

    WoW, umm idk I love all man RAWR! lol I have been approached by both white an non, and have received many approving looks by passing white males -wink- and, I am an all natural woman from my hair down so idk, it’s just what you prefer ^.^ I mean 4 me @the end of the day, it all boils down to the personality rather then the skin type, so what God has 4 me is e me, he knows my heart so what ever gift wraping my husband comes in is all good with me as long as he is ship 1 way to me from my heavenly father <3 love u sweets Ms.Peeks keep doin your thing gal <3

  12. IchUndElaine

    Dating outside of your race????WTF , My race is human, and not black, or white or whatever!
    I crew up and lived most of my life in Germany , and never expericence something like this!!!

    I think this reasons are ridiculous, since when are all white girls skinny????From my expericence white girls, are quite ” compact ” as well, at least in Germany.
    Hair, really this is a reason for girls not to date a white guy????Come on!!! It doesn’t matter if white or black, men just don’t like it when girls spent hours in the bathroom.And the time white girls maybe saving with the hair, they spent on tanning!
    This 6 girls that they interviewed really didn’t had a cloue about white guys! They never approach girls,doesn’t matter if black or white! German guys are really shy, and are afraid of being rejected.So If I like a guy, I go and talk to him!!!
    I never dated a black guy, maybe I am the Exception to the rule, but I am just not attracted to black guys!And are really happy in my relationship with my white boyfriend, that loves me just the way I am!

  13. Tony

    I am an italian in a relationship with a black woman and will be getting engaged, I get a lot of looks and comments from black males (not white people) for dating a very attractive white woman. On top of it I do not tolerate racism by ANY race so it causes me to fight. But anyways it’s ok for a black male to be with a white woman but not the other way around? How does that shit even make any sense? I do not hold double standards and I don’t see a problem with interracial dating it’s 2012 not 1952. I know a lot of white men who like black women and all of their qualities. Granted most of these men are Italian and our heritage is nothing but dark women with curly hair and a curvaceous body. And to the woman who goes by the name nosexwithwhitepeople, you are a racist. You just categorized an entire race based on what the media portraits and probably the simple minded people you have met and or associated yourself with. My whole life I have been taught to accept everyone no matter what color and that is how a lot of men my age (early 20’s) have been brought up, I also have a lot of friends who are black along with cousins who are black and Dominican along with spanish. So please do not make comments without any basis to support it because in the end you make yourself into an ass. Also you can’t hold what white Americans whom were slave owners back in the beginning of this country against the people of today, that is just absurd. For one my family came over from Italy on a boat in the 1930’s. But you wouldn’t know that because you insist on making assumptions. That’s the equivalent to me saying that you are a murderer and holding what kony is doing over in Africa against you because you’re black. Without knowing one what country, island or continent your ancestors came from. It’s just absurd either way how can you hold one mans ignorance and hate against another man who has done no wrong to you at all? Your statements above are no better than the prejudice thoughts of white people during the 50’s, 60’s, etc you mam are a racist yourself! We are all God’s children and we need to accept each other.

    1. BlackLoveOneLove

      Tony consider yourself privileged and shut the hell up already. I i have to read that bull crap about “a black can date a white women but white men cant date black women” another time! First of all the majority of black men do not date white women and have never to my knowledge publicly claimed anything like that. What doesn’t “make sense” is how you people sniffing out black female LIE as if the pocket of black men WHO ARE deep in-love with white women WHO ACTUALLY CARE WHO BLACK WOMEN DATE. Nah son. Quit lying on black men in general. We got this. This is Ours. Yes Ours. Don’t You ever forget it. Get your “what’s yours is mine, whats mine is mine” in check and stop pouring it off on black men.


      Tony you’re dismissed

      To my Babies. My black

      We have enough delusional individual and cults and enclaves of black women w/ hatred enough for us to truly conspire for all black men to be dead and buried, Than to have our level minded, true, mentally viable,, reasonable, loving & prideful sisters to even entertain dating outside her black race. Brothers don’t deserve that. There’s too much we’ve put in and too much we’ve been dragged through historically (and presently) for that crap. Open yalls eyes. We love you…..how about; Make better choices before choosing to window shop and get used in an effort to taste-test and open up and “not limit yourselves”

      ex: “You know how you have your favorite food. Something you’ve always known and enjoyed…its a part of you…but sometimes when you choose to eat or buy, it is not fresh, it is not at its best. at least THAT STOCK. But at its best, there is nothing even remotely near to it.

      “then in the event that you chose something foreign (because when your favorite and most familiar wasn’t prepared as perfectly as you like..or because someone else who likes the dish OR HATES the dish suggested to quit it) and you heard good things and bad things about anew, but you want to believe the best even though you have evidences it IS NOT good enough In fact probably bad. But you try it. What’s next? You almost die from poison, because you’re most allergic to “something new”—It does not serve you well”.

      Ladies. My beautiful black sisters. I have loved you and supported you since my beginning. I’m 29 and have ALWAYS been a defender and admirer of you. Yet I watch you fawn over whites whether you want them, they want you; or not. My cousins and i are single brothers except for one who’s married to a gorgeous black woman and mother of his other future gorgeous black women. My point is, We love our black diamonds. We need our women. I I only one man, I speak on behalf of the vast majority of my fellows. To black women young & old (especially our best and brightest) Pick the best of you first, do you men not deserve this? I want our future gen to love and support each other. Why in godsname should Whites..Arabs…Asians etc enjoy our best women…or even our quote on quote Worst. But specially our best. No way we were taken through hell then and now still. FOr our best to go to these men. BW; Until you have found there are no good black man absolutely–period. Show the pride that all most all other women have in their respective men REGARDLESS TO HOW OFTEN SOME OF THEIR MEN CHEAT, ABUSE, STEAL, UNDER-EARN, DATE-OUT, RAPE, OR OTHER IMMORAL ACTS—— INDIANS, WHITES, ASIANS, AND LATINAS DON’T CARE WHAT SOME OF THEIR MEN “DO WRONG”. THEY MOSTLY REMAIN LOYAL…ESP THE BEST OF THEM. ONLY BLACK MANS BEST GIVES OUTSIDERS EQUAL RIGHTS TO THEM (IF NOT MORE RIGHTS!).

      Think of the fact that all the power in the world is in the hands of various groups of men who hate black men. Think about the fact things take us longer..many of us did not have fathers, and that all of this was by design. Same as non black men suddenly checking for some of you…It wasnt so long ago they were making (well, trying) to make us feel poorly about our girls…your skin, your hair, your body your names. XXX online coincides with the explosion of interest and sexual attack on our women and community. Yes sexual attack. Think it over.

      If this keeps up…you wont have to worry about the 2 million more black women than black men stat or 40^ pct of black women not having been married (as if every other race of women have individually married). NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER. “ALL BLACK MEN WILL BE GONE” IF THESE RACIST HAVE THEIR WAY WITH YOU CONTINUES. We didn’t get treated like animals…and and we’re not purposefully enslaved today to idolize the oppressors. ALL RACES ENSLAVED US. YET WE HAVE THE BAD WORLD REPUTATION AND BLACK WOMEN WORRY ABOUT LIVING UP TO A WHITE SOBS STANDARDS AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. THEY DONT DESERVE YOU NO DANG WAY. I’m out. This madness is waaay too upsetting..


  14. ShaSHa

    I would never date a white person. I’d date any other race except white….specifically white Americans.

    1. Post author

      thanks for ur opinion hun, sounds like uve had sum bad experience??, but i hope u find a man that duz make u happy xx

    1. Post author

      hey hun, thanks i know a lot of people feel that way & its interesting to get the reasons, i appreciate ur comment & at the end of the day everyone shud do wot make makes them happy x ;]

  15. NosexwithWhitePeople

    You made the following ABSURD AND FALSE CLAIM: ” We are naturally attracted to black men but the majority of black men now and days marry outside of their race. ” THE MAJORITY OF BLACK MALES DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT marry non-black females. and I noticed that you didn’t bother citing your SOURCE for that statement. I recently read a silly post on a “We want white men cause we hate black people” site, that claimed that 23% of all black males who DO marry (More bm are unmarried than BF by percentage-go figure! but the White media isn’t making THAT an “emergency”.) non-black females, attempted to use that minority percentage to justify, jumping in bed with a White man and any other male so long as he isn’t black.. I Wondered if the entire reading audience had consistently FAILED math classes. If 23% of married black males are married to non-black females, it would FOLLOW mathematically, that the VAST MAJORITY – that would be a whopping 73% of all black males who are married, CHOOSE TO MARRY BLACK FEMALES..

    I swear, until black people learn to add, subtract, divide and recognize BS disseminated by idiots and White Supremacists (Racists) we ought to COMPLETELY eliminate the usage of “Most” before the terms “black men” and “black women” because we CONSISTENTLY show that we do not even understand the FALSE statistics that White people disseminate against us, let along the REALITIES of our own existences.

    You also didn’t mention the MAIN reason the vast majority of black females should and probably are apprehensive about sexual interaction/ relationships with White men.. THE HALF A MILLENIA HISTORY of them being our natural enemies, oppressors, destroyers and their continued and current maintenance of the Global System of Racism (White Supremacy). We don’t fancy laying next to a Racist, having to deal with all of the bullshyt, the perversion of White culture, having to conform more than we already have had to to what White people find acceptable etc. etc.

    We are completely uninterested in being some WM’s black fetish or “exotic” thing. We all know what White people do to animals and people whom they find “exotic” – parade them around, cage them, exploit them and mistreat them.

    Many of us also do NOT WANT CHILDREN WITH A WHITE MAN.. we want beautiful black children that look like US.. we want black children with beautiful brown skin that look like our own family members. Despite the conditioning that we ought somehow to conform to the twisted European standard of “beauty,” a great deal of us do NOT find White people physically attractive. We don’t find pale skin and all of it’s variations on color and transparency to be attractive. We don’t find limp hair or pink penises that turn different colors to be attractive. Most of us do not want to reproduce pale children who don’t look like us. Our ancestors wished to do no such thing either…that was BEFORE we were conditioned to hate ourselves.

    I do not belong to a “Race”….I am classified by the White Supremacists as “black,” however my people have never organized themselves into a “Race” nor do we function as a “race” and the only people on the planet who have done so and function as a “Race” are White people.. The only reason to organize yourself into a “race” is to mistreat those who are NOT members of your “Race”… the purpose of creating a “Race is to practice RACE-ISM.
    There is no “Human race” either. Again, the only people on the planet who function as a “Race” are White people.

    So long as the global system of Racism (White Supremacy) exists, I do not engage in, condone or support ANY non-white people, male or female, young or old engaging in sexual activity with ANYONE classified as “White” for any reason. We are the MAJORITY, they are the oppressive minority. As long as this system exists and I cannot tell who is a Racist and who is not, ( White people practice Racism through direct/indirect violence and or deception) there shall not be one in my bed.

    1. Ted

      I am a white male. My white ancestors did not immigrate to America until 20 years AFTER the civil war was over. Even though I am white, my white ancestors had NOTHING to do with slavery in this country. I was raised in a very strict way NOT to care about the skin color or race of another person. So, you should be careful blaming all white people for what happened during that terrible time in the history of this country. My family, even though we are white, had as much to do with the slavery in this country as did an Asian, Hispanic or Middle Eastern family. I don’t hate any other ethnicity of people in the world for who they are. Maybe you should let go of some of your hatred, also.
      My skin color does not make me a racist, a White Supremist or a hater of black people, just as your skin color does not predispose you to being a “certain type of person”. Isn’t it time to stop all of this anger and hatred and just love each other for who we are. And let all of the interracial hatred go also. Its the 21st Century, not the 1940’s anymore. If someone of any color falls in love with a person of a different color, stop taking it so personally and let them live their life and you live yours- In Peace and Love.

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