It’s understandable to be curious about the sexual lives of our partners. It makes sense to want to know what the averages are. We want to know if our partner was a sleeper rounder or whether they are as innocent as they are playing out to be.

But the number has different meanings for men and women. The old double standard is still alive and well a man with more sexual partners than his buddies may be teasingly called a  stud or a galist” but this is more of a compliment , not an insult. Ask a woman who has dared reveal her number to someone who considers it too high, and she’ll surely tell you of the names she could be called such as  slag, slut , etc.”

It’s quite common for a guy to worry about a girlfriend’s sexual past. But what’s with asking questions about your sexual history just before sex??? You have the condom in your hand your about to get it on then he asks ” Did they do it like this as well?’ Arrrgh !!That has to be the biggest passion killer a guy can commit. Too many men are still raised to see sex as crude competition, in which bedding a woman who has already had a lot of lovers counts less than scoring with a woman who is “hard to get.” But I think the average guy’s worry is simpler than that. The more men his girlfriend has slept with, the greater number of lovers to which she can compare his skills. It’s easier to win a contest against two than against 20, he figures. And even easier to rank first when he’s the only one to have ever played the game. No wonder so many guys are obsessed with finding a virgin.

This is the one of the  reasons why so many men get so filled with rage at sexually experienced girls. And of course, it’s the real reason so many girls feel compelled to lie about their number. They just don’t like the hassle of what comes with telling the truth.As relationships should be judged  based on what happens during the present times and not the past. I have told an ex that I didn’t want to talk about my past and he want into quiet mode and didn’t talk or answered when I asked him questions he just mumble, I finally gave in and told him but it wasn’t a great experience.

But then many women have told their boyfriends their real number, only to be nagged and nagged for explicit details. Guys insecurities can make him  be  a pain. Its the past so let it be is not an option they ant the full gory details and when they hear it they  cant handle it.

Some guys may say “I’m not asking to be nosy its just that its important thing to know about someone I might be serious about, Isn’t it something I have a right to know?” That sounds reasonable. But again, why is it so important to know an exact number? What difference does it make? Knowing whether a potential girlfriend has ever been in love before is important; discovering (slowly and patiently) how her past experiences have impacted her view of men (for better or worse) is important. But really, what’s the difference whether she’s slept with four or 14 men? She isn’t defined by her number—and if there’s a chance you might change how you see her when you discover the truth (should she tell you), why ask? that’s what makes us girls annoyed we cant win!!

But this has nothing to do, with asking about sexual health. It’s a great idea to talk about sexually transmitted infections; it’s a great idea for a new couple to get tested before having unprotected sex. We have a right to know if a potential partner has an infection. But the exact number itself is altogether is different. But the right to ask is not the same as the right to know but this will be the question that girls will be asked  by the partners time again.  Of course this isn’t every single guy that commits this  but  as long as there’s guys who feel insecure about themselves its best get prepared as it wont be a stopping any time soon.

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The MO-AM Network. A Lifestyle channel, on fashion, entertainment, love and sex for career driven, young and ambitious women.

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  1. Chantelle

    I flippin love this article. Guys need to get to know that sex numbers is not important! A chicks number does not define their point of views, personality or sex drive! its just a number! Get over it

    1. peeks

      hey chantelle, its deffo a touchy subject hun, but i think if ur wiv a man that ur serious about then its deffo worth thinkin about being open from the begining or it cud bite u later, trust me. each girl has to use her own judgement. xx

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