The feeling of insecurity pops out in every phase of our life. It effects all of us but some more than others. When you are insecure you can be thinking about are you cool enough? are you thin enough, tall enough, the right complexion? Are you in sync with your peers? Or thin enough. Generally insecurity is a feeling of unease that is triggered by the lack of self confidence, feeling inadequate and lacking trust in oneself or others. The truth is nothing is wrong with you its mainly psychological based on how you view the world and other peoples opinions.
So why are people insecure?
Here are some factors…
1. Being raised in an environment that is not conducive for learning and chaotic and thus leading them to be frequently on the edge.
2. Having gone through a major setback or tragedy in life such as losing someone important.
3. Lack of direction in life.
4. Lack of compliments from others and thus they feel that they are not acknowledged.
5. Poor self image of their body.
6. Having unrealistic expectations imposed on them by others and they are striving to meet.
7. Low self esteem, lack skills and abilities.
8. Overshadowed by other more successful people and feel that they cannot achieve as much success as the others.
9. Lacking of trust in others that leads to jealousy in a relationship.
10. Fear. The fear of rejection, pain, loss, embarrassment will cause them to feel insecure and thus put up irrational responses to prevent the situation from happening.
Insecurity can affect your relationship with your friends and family , effect your performance at collage, work etc. Its psychological and it has an effect where you may blame yourself when decision you make in your life turn out wrong. It can be a vicious circle that keeps going round and round but you can start to understand why you feel this way so that you can plan to develop the new behaviour to make you feel more secure. So here’s 8 tips to help you feel great again.
1. Self Awareness – Ask yourself what is the trigger of you feeling insecure? Fear of loss, pain, embarrassment or rejection. What is it that you are insecure about? After finding out the trigger, ask yourself what new behaviour traits you can develop to make you feel more secure? How does the new behaviour benefits me? What is my action plan to develop the new behaviour?
2.” So what?” attitude – Don’t keep asking what if this happen or what if that happen. You can run your imagination wild if you keep asking yourself what if. Tell your self “So What?” There are a lot of things that are actually minor problems until we are guilty of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Rihanna can be more pretty than me, so what? The world still revolves.
3. Exercise – Join a gym, take up the yoga class, take up pilates or start doing regular exercises. Exercising can improve your mood. When you exercise your brain release chemicals which will make you feel happier and more relaxed. By regularly exercising you can boost your confidence, improve your self esteem and say bye bye to depression and anxiety.
4. Set Goals – Lack of direction in life can cause insecurity. You will be wondering what is your purpose in life and lack the self esteem. By regularly setting goals, you can keep on achieving and lesser the time for your mind to wander. Be sure to take baby steps when setting goals.
5. Journal – Use a journal and record the success you have make in life. Record down the mini success you have achieved and regularly refer back to it to boost your self confidence.
6. List your fears – List your fears and conquer them one by one. Feel insecure when you are presenting? Take up a public speaking class. Fear of talking to strangers? Take up a sales job. Keep conquering your fear one by one and suddenly you got a whole lot of confidence in yourself!
7. Buddy or Mentor system – Find a buddy or mentor that you can trust and tell them about the challenges you are facing. Let them track your progress and shower you with compliments.
8. Laughter – Laughter is the best medicine for human. When you laugh your mood lightens up and is said to help to improve the immune system too. With the internet, you can find jokes and humour at a touch of a finger click. Watch comedies or surf youtube to find funny videos. There are lots of sources out there on the web that brings joy and happiness.
Please feel free to lave a comment about any experiences you may have and anyone you know regarding insecurities.