When some of us get angry or hurt…. we stay angry or hurt, possibly longer than we really should. Although I despise using the words ‘bitter woman,’ we’ve all heard it before, or have possibly been referred to as one. These words have a negative connotation and don’t accurately reflect all women. Yet and still it speaks volumes to what type of woman one can become if she chooses to hold grudges.
There’s a saying that says ‘holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die (damn) . Its very true, because its you that the emotions eat away at. Holding a grudge eats at your physical, mental, and emotional being while the other person who hurt or angered you has more than likely moved on with his or her life. So by holding a grudge, ultimately who is really winning and who suffers?
If you’re still harbouring feelings over what your first boyfriend did to you back years ago or what someone said to you at college last year, you should definitely consider the bitterness that comes along with holding a grudge.If that’s not enough, research also suggests that holding grudges has a direct effect to your health. So in addition to being deemed bitter and angry, you may also suffer from high blood pressure, headaches, and other medical illnesses. So again who is really winning as a result of you holding a grudge?
Some people have mixed emotions about holding grudges. They believe that by forgiving a cheating ex-boyfriend, a deceitful friend, or a back-stabbing co-worker, they are condoning the person’s behaviour. Forgiving isn’t about agreeing with a person’s actions, but instead it’s about rising above the situation to take care of your emotions and in reality all of us have done a thing or two…or three, that could have made someone bitter, so we have dust our shoulders off and move on.
Holding grudges prevents us from fully moving forward with our lives. The resentment we feel soon opens up the door for more irrational and self-sabotaging behaviour like jealousy, gossip, and lack of trust, simply because we feel justified in our actions. In addition, we categorize people based on past hurt, thus affecting our future relationships. So while, you’re having flashbacks, relapses, and everything in between of how you felt when you were cheated on by your ex, he has possibly moved on with his life and isn’t dwelling on what he did to you years ago.
Let go of grudges before they eat away at your soul and make you emotionally and physically sick. New people in your lives deserve to see the real you rather than a bitter version that is no fun to be around. If you don’t want to forgive even though it’s the right thing to do, you at least owe it to yourself to prevent becoming that bitter, angry woman that none of us really want to become. Come on chick lighten up & look forward to having a fab new lease of life & energy that comes with forgiving & moving on. No one says you will forget in a hurry, but when you do move on you will find yourself thinking about this stuff less & less as happy memories & new adventures fill your head. So what are you waiting for, dust off & show them just how much better off you are without the drama they brought ;p