It’s easy to know what to do when everything is going fine in you and your man’s lives; be sweet, funny, charming, hot—you know, the usual. But when disaster strikes your partner, there are some behaviors you need to ease up on, and some that will be all new territory for you. Here’s how to be a quintessential and supportive girlfriend in some of life’s most trying situations.
1. WHEN A LOVED ONE IS SICK
This is a tough situation because, unless you are a doctor, there is very little you can do to remedy the actual problem at hand. And if you think you feel helpless, your man feels even more helpless seeing his mother/brother/best friend in a dangerous medical situation.
2. DON’T TRY TO FIX ANYTHING
Often, when someone is hurting emotionally, and somebody comes in trying to “fix” things, the person in pain feels a responsibility to at least make it seem like the fixer actually, well, fixed things. But, you’re not really fixing anything; you’re just giving your guy an added responsibility of having to now make you feel good about your efforts. Don’t try to tell your guy it will be okay, or offer a million ways to make him feel better. Just be there when he wants to talk, cuddle, cry or have company. You don’t have to say anything. And then help in the ways you can, like with chores, or errands, or helping out the rest of his family that is affected by the situation. He’ll appreciate that you are realistic about the problem at hand.
3. WHEN HIS PARENTS ARE OUT OF LINE
Sometimes parents just suck, right? Sometimes, instead of being the unconditionally loving, supportive and comforting people they should be, they are harsh, unsupportive, critical, judgmental and hurtful. And it is very uncomfortable for your partner to have you see his parents be this way towards him.
4. Mix a little sympathy with a little reason
If your mans parent was just a total heart-less jerk to him, saying or doing something very un-maternal/paternal, he’s no idiot, and you can’t put a nice spin on why they did it. So show your man you see what he sees: tell him that yes, his parent is being awful right now! And it must be very painful for him. But, at the same time, nobody wants to see their parent as a monster, and you—as a non family member—are not really in a place to trash talk. So, while you sympathize and acknowledge how tough the parent is being, also analyze. Tell your partner there must be a reason his parent is being that way—some fear they have, or stress they are under. At the end of the day, whether we like it or not, we cannot dismiss our parents entirely. Part of surviving with them, is rationalizing some of the awful things they do. Help your partner do that.
5. WHEN HE GETS FIRED
When a man gets fired, he doesn’t feel like a man. He doesn’t feel that he has the skills to provide not only for himself but for a family one day. In addition, men have an incredible sense of competition, and in this economy, it’s even higher. Each man feels like he won’t be the one to get the boot. And when it happens, it’s even more devastating because he knows, in this economy, how much harder it will be to get back up.
6. MAKE HIM FEEL HOT
There is nothing sophisticated, complicated or even that psychological about this solution: your man needs to still feel competent and attractive in some arena of his life! He doesn’t want your pity, and to be honest, he doesn’t even want your help finding a new job. All he needs from the woman in his life is to still be a man in her eyes. Get ready to be active in the bedroom; your man needs your attention. As for talking about the issue, only do it when he wants to. If he isn’t bringing it up, it’s because he wants it off his mind right now.
7. WHEN HIS DREAMS AREN’T COMING TRUE
When his screenplay gets rejected for the tenth time, or he once again doesn’t land that acting job, or is denied a loan to start his business or in some way, his baby (his dream) that he has been nursing for years still isn’t finding its place in the world, what do you do? What do you tell a man up against all odds?
How else could you help out your man in tough times? Please share your thoughts or experience in a comment below.
Article courtesy madamenoire.com